Reducing Social Isolation Among the Elderly This Holiday Season

As the holiday season nears, we remind ourselves and others that this year, more than ever, people need people.

By Deborah Keller
CEO, Chordline Health

The holidays are often a time when warm nostalgia washes over us as we listen to music, marvel at light displays, revel in aromas and take part in traditions that take us back to days gone by. For most of us it is a warm, comforting feeling, often shared during gatherings with family and friends. 

For the elderly, however, the holiday season can have a different effect. The daily social isolation they often feel just under the surface gets brought forward into their consciousness as they remember spouses, other family members, and friends who are no longer there to share the holidays with them. The situation is made even worse if they are unable to visit people and places, they feel connected to when they choose due to a lack of personal transportation. 

This year, of course, there is an extra factor contributing to that sense of social isolation – a global pandemic that often manifests it’s most severe effects on the elderly. The result is that even those avenues of socialization that were left to them, such going to restaurants in group outings, walking the shopping mall, or having outside visitors stop by, have now been closed. In fact, CMS has even recommended restricting activities within a care community, further isolating residents from contact with others. 

In short, 2020 has all the makings of being one of the direst holidays in memory. But it does not have to be that way. 

With nearly 40 years working with organizations in the care management business, Chordline Health has experienced the difference a few kind words, and even the smallest gestures, can make in brightening the day of those going through difficult times – physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually. Just the opportunity to have contact with others, rather than being stuck with their own thoughts all the time, can help remove some of the burden of remaining socially isolated. 

With that in mind, here are a few suggestions on helping your loved ones, or even someone you only know casually, do better this holiday season. 

• Buy them a tablet – and teach them how to use it. While there is a belief that the elderly are technology-averse, that is not always or even often the case. Many would love to use a device to explore the outside world and communicate with others if they had one and understood how it works. There are plenty of inexpensive tablets that can easily give most elderly people the ability to participate in video and voice calls. But don’t just drop the technology and run. Teach them how to use it. Write down step-by-step instructions, with illustrations if necessary, so they can use it at any time. 

• Consider voice-assisted technologies too. Voice-assisted technologies such as Siri, Alexa and Google Assistant make it even easier to make video calls or participate in social media. If you coordinate with the families of their friends, they can make peer-to-peer calls to keep in touch, even if they cannot get together physically. They could even arrange for game or movie nights. These technologies can also come in handy when it is time to open gifts. 

• Set up and moderate group calls. Of course, one-to-one calls are not the only option technology offers. An online group call using apps such as Zoom, or House Party can create an instant virtual gathering with their longtime friends. Rather than suggesting your loved ones create it, however, why not do it for them? Gather the information and invite everyone to participate. Once they are on you can probably step back and let them talk while you do other things. But someone needs to get the ball rolling, especially at first. 

• Get them to tell stories about people and places from their past – and record them. In addition to regular calls, arrange some times for the elderly to share stories of their past. Ask grandparents what their grandparents were like. Have them talk about major events they experienced, or what it was like growing up in a particular era. Create your own “A Christmas Story” by having them talk about a particularly memorable holiday from their childhood. Many elderly people have very interesting stories to tell. They just think no one is interested in hearing them. If you have the ability, you can even edit some stories together into a virtual time capsule of that person’s life which you can share with them.

• Purchase a video streaming subscription for them. Here again you will probably have to teach them how to use it. But giving someone access to TV shows and movies they remember fondly, as well as new shows and movies they might like, could help them take some of the sting out of isolation. You can even build a playlist for them to make it easy to find their favorites. Better still, if you watch it as well the two of you can discuss what you watched. Remember, you don’t have to limit it to entertainment either. If the person you are thinking of has an interest in aviation, or animals, or trains, or music, or some other topic, look for streaming media that addresses those interests. 

Those are just a few ways you can help remove the isolation, especially here in 2020. I am sure you can think of more. 

The last suggestion is one that was offered in the classic Bill Murray movie Scrooged. The core of the message is in this clip. 

This holiday season is an opportunity to be a little kinder to everyone you meet. Everyone has been through a lot this year. Especially the elderly. 

But if we make the decision to be nicer and keep the holiday spirit with us after the holidays are gone, we will get hungry for it and will want it every day. And before you know it, we will start acting like the people we were always meant to be, lightening the load for everyone. 

Enjoy the holidays!